New to Great Greed? Start At Part 1!
When we last left off in Great Greed, SaS and Cup Cake, the little girl he has kidnapped who’s following him are off to find some dirt on Crabby. The only professor in the whole world who can do this lives in a forest somewhere, which means it’s off to the woods we go!
But first, let us survey the kinds of beasties SaS has to massacre en route to the good professor:
Should have been “Eyes Cream” instead, it would have been 45% more awesome.
Yes, you got that right. SaS can lose HP due to being tackled by a JELLY. I guess SaS is weak to being jiggled at, maybe he should stay away from strip clubs. And when it’s beaten…
The eye pops out. How grisly!
Yes, we’re all buds until one of us grows into A GIANT MURDEROUS TUBER.
SaS also gets beaten up by YAMS on his way to the forest. These yams have the Shove ability, which means they can cause more damage by , er, shoving SaS around. SaS is getting pushed around by wandering herds of potatoes and a little girl named Cup Cake, poor SaS. Maybe he should learn to be more assertive. :O
Speaking of Cup Cake, she has a special ability – during a battle, she encourages SaS by yelling FIGHT CUP CAKE CHEERS! This increases the amount of damage SaS does to his foes, which makes me wonder exactly what kind of BLOODLUST INDUCING BATTLE CRIES Cup Cake is capable of shrieking. Maybe something like
WHAM BAM SLAM THAT YAM *giggle*
Or maybe Cup Cake isn’t encouraging SaS, but enraging him into a berserk rage using sly references to how SaS found his manhood in a box. RAAAAGGEEEEEEE. It doesn’t help that when they reach Teapot Village, SaS sells his Wood for 3 gold, which is much cheaper than anything you can find in Las Vegas :O. But that’s okay, SaS soon finds replacement wood in the forest:
BIG WOOD. GIGANTIC WOOD. BET YOUR WOOD CAN’T GET ANY BIGGER THAN THAT~
That is actually Professor Condante’s house – yes, because he specializes in FAMILY TREES, they put him IN A TREE. I’m glad you’re so literal-minded, game developers. I’m also glad there aren’t any proctology professors in the game, because I’d sooner throw this game away then have to journey into the biggest butt in the world.
Cup Cake asks for help tracing Crabby’s family tree. Condante tells her to leave because he’s busy, but Cup Cake insists, saying that the future of Sushi depends on finding out more about Crabby and cheap sources of avocado and cucumber. Condante says FINE, if you want help, go get Lola Leftover’s debut album in a record factory to the North. Because it’s bad enough the man LIVES IN A TREE, he’s a record otaku as well. Joy.
Next time on Great Greed, when they say record factory, they mean it. :O
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